Throw That Idea Out The Window

I saw that my favorite player, Frank Thomas, hit 3 home runs tonight to give him 512 for his career. I wanted to check where that ranked him on the all-time home run list and I stubled upon the most outrageous thing ever. (By the way Frank now is in a tie for 18th with Ernie Banks and Eddie Matthews, but this is not about him, he only led me to the evidence).

I know that Alex Rodriguez is on pace to blow away what is now Barry Bonds' career home run record, but I always thought that Albert Pujols was on pace to blow away Alex Rodriguez, I found out that I am horribly mistaken this evening. While scrolling through the home run list I can across the 27-year-old Pujols in 136th place with 281 career home runs. Alex Rodriguez is in 17th place with 516. Rodriguez is only 31. Some quick math shows that for Pujols to catch A-Rod he has to average (yes, average) 58 home runs a year for the next four years. That is just to get to 516 at the same age as A-Rod. I think Pujols is a tremedous hitter, but there is no way he can do that considering he has yet to hit 50 in a season, let alone four in a row. Four consecutive 50 homer seasons has only been done by Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire and we all assume they had a bit of help.

I don't think we realize how great Alex Rodriguez really is. He gets so much crap for not having won a championship, but he's only 31. He's got a good five years of his prime to get a title and rack up more ridiculous nubmers. Barry Bonds broke Hank Aaron's record at 43 years of age. If he maintains his current pace Alex Rodriguez will hit his 763rd home run (one more than Bonds has right this second) halfway through the 2013 season, making Rodriguez between 36 and 37 years old. Say Bonds plays one more year and hits about the same as he did this year (mid-20's), A-Rod breaks the record in 2014 assuming he maintains his current pace. Imagine if he played until he was 43 or 44 like Bonds. 900 becomes a realistic number. Scott Boras, his agent, hinted he thought Rodriguez would hit 1000 home runs, Boras might wind up being right.

The 1st Cut Is the Deepest

Well it's been a long time since I wrote anything on this. Part of it is because of a terribly slow internet connection while at home and part of it is because I have a lot more free time at college (as crazy as that sounds). So, here goes.

The first day of school. It is one of the most bizzare days of the college experience. In 90% of classes you read through the syllabus and read through the the class roster. The classes are kind of strange, but not nearly as strange as what happens while walking from class to class.

I'll put it this way, people come out of the woodwork on the first day of classes. You see anyone and everyone on the first day. I mean, I got through a whopping 38 seconds of Lil' Wayne's "Dough Is What I Got" on my iPod before it went away for the afternoon.

It reminds me a lot of Vince Vaughn's ideas on dating in "Wedding Crashers." It's an awkward situation, do I say "Hi" do I not say "Hi"? Do I go with the little half-armed wave? Or do I go right into saying "Hey (insert name here)! How are you doing? What's happened in the last nine and a half months since I last saw you?"? It's a strange situation all around, I assume the other side of these encounters have the same feelings.

The funny thing about it all is that you never see these people walking from class to class after the first day of school. Never. Never. You see them in the bars. You see them in restaruants. You might bump into them in the library during midterm or finals week, but that is a stretch. I don't know what causes this. But paths just seem to cross on the first day of classes. It doesn't happen with the first day of second semester, it just happens on the first day of school. Just strange all around.

Boy Shorts

As I was walking through campus on a lovely spring day this afternoon I noticed a troubling trend. In about a five-minute period I saw about five girls wearing "boy shorts." Now, I know this little trend started when I was a senior in high school, with girls coming to school wearing long, baggy, athletic shorts that you typically see on guys while they are playing basketball, lifting weights, or doing anything else athletic. I didn't have so much a problem with it then because it was a small group of girls doing it and I saw it as more a niche thing than a widespread trend. Now, I think the opposite.

Over the last two days it has been warm in Columbia, and I have seen well over a handful of girls rockin' the "boy shorts." (I'd say about 25) These observations have led me to believe that these girls are no longer simply borrowing/stealing these shorts from their boyfriends or from close male friends or perhaps their even male siblings. I now think that these girls are purchasing these shorts. Scary.

Why is it scary? Because we guys are losing yet another of our typical fashion attire to those gender-neutral pieces of clothing. Think of the things that the males have lost over the past 50 years. Jeans, t-shirts, hooded sweatshirts, baggy sweats, baseball hats, gym shoes, suits.... the list goes on. What are we going to lose next? Our cutoff t-shirts and our cargo shorts? It has gone too far ladies, you can't keep taking our clothes and making them yours because then us guys will be wearing girl clothes on a daily basis, and that is a scary thought. Hell, that new GAP commercial has the girl wearing guy’s khakis. I think they call them "the boyfriend trouser" or something like that.

I remember the last time when guys tried to steal something from the females and make it gender-neutral. It was with those Capri pants that were so trendy. I remember when they tried to market those to guys, didn't go so well. Actually, it was a disaster. Please, let us cling to what we have now, it isn't much.

The reason this whole stealing of male clothing works for women is that they are smart. They have figured out how to wear our clothes and not look like a "Tom-boy." Just throw some make-up and over-sized sunglasses on and you will still look very feminine, ladies. Unfortunately, the male race has yet to figure out how to look manly in Capri pants or a dress. It just doesn't work, and it never will.

What I think is scary is that girls can apply their current techniques to the rest of male clothing and totally get away with it. Why? Because girls will accept it, and to be honest, guys really don't give two-shits about what you girls wear, so long as you can still look good doing it, you will still have our attention. If this trend keeps up, the only thing guys will have left is the no-shirt look. And I don't think that is going to work to well for us when winter rolls around.

When Will They Stop Talking About This Guy?

I've come to the reality, after just two games, that those in the sporting world (led by ESPN) will never stop talking about Daisuke Matsuzaka. Never. I watched SportsCenter this morning and his highlights from last night's Red Sox/Mariners led off. It was all highlights about Daisuke and then one little blip of Felix Hernandez (the Mariners' starter that opposed him) at the end of the highlights. You figure Daisuke dominated, right? Boston surely must have won the game, right? Nope. King Felix threw a 1-hit, no run, two-walk gem of a shutout and it barely got a peep on SportsCenter. And Seattle won 3-0. Baseball Tonight talked about it some because that show is specifically baseball highlights. But for the most part all the talk was about Daisuke and his Red Sox home debut.

The thing that makes this all so odd is that it is the great Felix Hernandez who will have a bigger impact on baseball as a whole than Matsuzaka will. Daisuke is great (at least through two starts) but the guy is already 26 and will turn 27 in September. Good age for a pitcher, but not young enough to make any kind of impact on any of the hallowed records. I'll already rule out 300 wins for Daisuke (since he has 1 MLB win right now), he could get to 3,000 strikeouts but that would take a whole bunch of impressive seasons. Hall of Famer? You would think he already is one with how they talk about him. We have yet to see what will happen with great Japanese imports and the Hall of Fame. The jury will be out until Ichiro Suzuki retires. I think Ichiro should be in the Hall, I could see Daisuke following.

But as for King Felix, he just turned 21. That is no misprint. He turned 21 on April 8, making him roughly five moths younger than I am. He throws 92 mph. On his slider. 100 on his fastball. 86 with some disgusting break on his curveball. As my friend and I were watching the game last night we were wondering how it is possible to hit a ball coming out of King Felix's hand. We quickly determined that you just have to get lucky. My approach would be to go up there and just stand there, hoping for a walk. Hernandez had a rocky first season last year (12-14 with a 4.52 ERA) but for a 20 year-old that seems OK. Early on this season he seems to have harnessed his control issues and more importantly, the Mariners gave him his slider back. They refused to let him throw it last year for fear of him hurting his arm. After seeing it for the first time last night I have determined it is the single filthiest pitch in baseball. Anyway, that 12-14 mark seems to be distant history considering that Hernandez has not allowed a run in his first two starts this year (a total of 17 innings). Hell, he's only allowed four hits and four walks.

And yet, they continue to talk about Daisuke. Daisuke has given up as many runs as Felix has hits. While those are still fabulous numbers for Matsuzaka, whom do you think should be getting talked about non-stop?

Can I Get A Do-Over?

When you are a promising young player from a family with a historically good pedigree it seems impossible to mess up your career, doesn’t it? I mean, your father was a legend at Ole Miss and a successful pro. Your older brother might go down as the best quarterback to ever play the game. Seems like you got it made in the shade. And actually, you had it made in the San Diego shade, but you didn’t want to play there. You wanted to play anywhere but there because you felt that organization didn't run things so well (3 years after it dealt you away they were 14-2 and coming off its second AFC West Championship). So you demanded to be traded before you signed a deal with the Chargers and here you are in New York. Smart move. You demanded a trade from a city that barely booed Ryan Leaf to a city that launches the boobirds at Alex Rodriguez relentlessly. You are Eli Manning and it looks like you made a big old mistake on draft day three years ago.

It began to be floated around last year that Eli Manning made a large mistake on draft day 2004. But now with Tiki Barber retired I think about how his decision seems to get worse by the minute. He could be handing the ball off to LaDanian Tomlinson, perhaps the best football player ever, instead, he’ll be handing off to Brandon Jacobs (who?) if the Giants don’t land a back in the draft or make a trade.

Not to mention the fact that the Eli deal has made the Chargers into one of the premiere teams in the league. They not only landed current quarterback Phillip Rivers but also the most disruptive defensive player in football in Shawne Merriman in return for giving up Manning. (Merriman came from the 2005 pick the Giants dealt the Chargers to get Manning).

And then I heard the most awful words that I could hear for the sake of Eli Manning the other day. An ESPN analyst (and I’m not sure who because I wasn’t paying that close of attention) said, “the Giants offense is squarely on Eli’s shoulders.” Not exactly what you want to hear in New York when you have a career 73.2 passer rating.

I’m not saying that Eli is bad at all. He has a lot of potential and a great chance to be something, but I don’t think New York is the best place for him to try to do that. In New York they boo the guy that is the reigning AL MVP after he strikes out once, that guy might be the best baseball player to lace them up. If they can boo him, I have no doubt they will be quick to boo an average quarterback for making average mistakes.

Hindsight, for right now, says Eli made a bit of a mistake. If only we could get do-overs in real life.

Observing Oregon

One thing some of you may not know about yours truly is that I have always had an eye for sports uniforms. They fascinate me. I like to see the changes, I like to see which ones look cool and which ones look hideous. It is just an interesting part of the game. I enjoy that side, the more casual side, almost as much as I enjoy the games. (And sometimes, like in the case of the NHL, I enjoy the seeing the uniforms more than I enjoy the game.)

Anyway, as I was watching the Sweet Sixteen games this evening, something hit me. Nike's founder and CEO Phil Knight graduated from Oregon back in the day, and recently he has turned Oregon's football team into his pet uniform project. They have received new uniform combinations in just about all of the last four seasons. And they have grown more bizarre with each entry, but I do admit that some combinations look cool, and the set they had about four years ago was awesome.

What this relates to is the Oregon basketball team. I don't understand why they haven't had the same treatment as the football team. Is Knight just not a basketball fan? I don't know. Don't get me wrong, Oregon basketball still has some pretty snazzy uniforms, but, unlike the football team, they are not the only team with that template. Uniforms tend to go in a template trend, where there are a few patterns and team choose which one they like and the manufacturer puts the colors in the right places. No other college football team sports the same template Oregon does, but some college basketball teams do have the same one as the Ducks do.

What I am really surprised about it that Nike just unveiled a new type of basketball uniform, but Oregon was not one of the schools to receive it. Syracuse, Ohio State, Florida and Arizona were the four teams that were recipients of Nike's new "System of Dress" uniforms. You may have noticed, but these uniforms have very tight, Under Armour-like, tops combined with extremely baggy shorts.

I don't understand why Oregon wasn't included in this new Nike revolution. But I would keep an eye out for them to be wearing some snazzy new uniforms on the hardwood in the near future. Especially if their basketball team continues to win this March. Oregon is already in the Elite Eight. Would a Final Four berth be enough for Knight to have his designers drum up something special for the Ducks?

And this is a link to the new basketball uniforms incase you have not noticed them on TV. http://www.systemofdress.com/

Not Raining on My Parade

You know what's a great feeling?

After being holed up in a classroom, without any windows to daydream out of, being able to walk outside of the building said classroom resides in and notice that it has rained. Not is raining, but has rained while you were inside. I think this feels wonderful. Somebody out there got rained on in the last hour, but not me.

When on a college campus, rain presents a medium to large sized problem. Classes are often a long walk away. And even if they are a short walk away, you still have to go outside, and you are still going to get wet. And who wants that? Nobody. It isn't like high school where everything is in the same building and you might get wet once walking in and once walking out at the end of the day (although rain usually doesn't last for eight straight hours). In college you can get rained on going in, rained on going out, rained on going in again, coming out again, waiting for the bus, walking to your car....

I'd put missing out on getting rained on in the Top 100 or so great feelings. Not the greatest, not even close to the greatest, but it is something that can brighten an otherwise dreary, desolate, overcast, off and on showers kind of day.