The Record That Nobody Talked About

Barry Bonds got a countdown for when he was chasing down Babe Ruth for second place on the home run list. David Ortiz got a countdown for when he was chasing down Jimmie Foxx for the Boston Red Sox single season home run mark. And maybe the man I am about to mention got a countdown of his own, but I didn't see it. He is Trevor Hoffman. And he has now saved more games than anybody in baseball history. ESPN didn't give him a peep. Not that I saw. When I checked Yahoo! Sports this evening I was startled to see the headline "Hoffman Sets Save Record." I knew Hoffman was close, but I thought it would be early next season when he passed Lee Smith's mark of 478 saves. Instead it happened tonight.

The only explanation I can have for this silent record being made is that ESPN's east-coast bias has slipped into all of us, me included. I will guarantee that when Mariano Rivera approaches what is now Trevor Hoffman's save record, it will be the lead story on SportsCenter every night. Hell, I heard more about Rivera's 400th career save this year than I did about Hoffman's 479th. That is crazy. The only solution I have on this is to break up the monster that ESPN has become. Get a west-coast based sports channel and then maybe I will hear about these things. I like to think I don't have much bias when it comes to sports. Sure I root for my teams, but I try to pay attention to all teams, and this is something I definitely should have seen coming. ESPN has sucked me down with them. I'm ashamed.

Congratulations to Trevor Hoffman. Even if Major League Baseball doesn't care too much about closers yet (the former saves leader, Smith, is not a Hall of Famer), I think they should. The closer has become one of the most important roles in baseball and they should be recognized. I think Hoffman should be in the Hall of Fame. I know a guy like Rivera will be (and should be). I have a lot of respect for a guy who has battled through injuries like Hoffman has and has also made all but two of his saves for the San Diego Padres. I hope he plays another year or two and makes it to 500+ saves. That would be fun to see for me, although maybe I wouldn't know about it because ESPN probably wouldn't tell me.

Cursive. What a Fucking Waste of Time

So I'm sitting in class today, and I get a case of the doodles. I just start drawing triangles on top of triangles on top of triangles. And then I think about starting to write in cursive, and as I am writing "bored" in cursive, something dawns on me. Does anybody actually use this? Other than signing your name, does anybody write in cursive, anymore? I glance at the girl next to me to see if she writes in cursive, and she does not.

My guess is that there are five people who write in cursive on a consistent basis. Five, out of the nine billion people on the planet. Which brings me to the next point. Why the hell did we spend so much time learning this in third grade if it serves absolutely no purpose other than to sign your name? I wasted three months of my life learning how to write the letters "a," "q," and "y" (among others) in cursive. These are letters that I will never, ever, ever, use. And it is three months that I can never have back. I feel cheated. My teacher made it such a big deal. I think the exact word were, "You will need this if FOURTH grade." That gets every third grader excited. She used my emotions against me, how dare she. I needed to learn just a few letters, those in my name. Eight of them to be exact. "J" "o" "h" "n" "u" "e" "t" "r." I have doubles, so it makes it easier. Not only did we all spend all that time learning all 26 letters, but we learned it twice because we learned all 26 capital letters too. What a joke. All that for nothing. I wish I could have that time back or at least have questioned my teacher in depth, and got her to admit that cursive will never, ever be used later on in life.

The Natural (Home Run Swing)

Ryan Howard is ridiculous. Every time I look at a Phillies box score these days he has hit another homer. Today, September 3, he hit three homers to give him 52 on the season, putting him five homers ahead of the incredible David Ortiz (who has been out roughly a week with an irregular heartbeat). How does Howard do it? I don't know. All I can say is that he has a power swing. Some people would say that Howard benefits from playing in the banbox that is Citizen's Bank Park, but I don't think that is helping him that much. I don't see many (if any) of his homers leave by only a few feet. They are usually hit somewhere near the stratosphere.

Those three homers today give him 76 for his career in 240 games. To compare, the great Albert Pujols (the man on pace to shatter some of baseball's most hallowed records, like hits, homers and RBI) has 243 homers in 907 games (and oddly enough he also hit three today, those three are included in those totals). Going strictly by games Howard is on pace to have 287 homers in his first 907 games, 44 homers (or roughly one season worth) ahead of Pujols. If you were to go by at bats (Pujols has 3390 and Howard has 847), Howard is on pace to have 304 homers by the time he reaches Pujols' 3390 at bats.

So, judging by that last paragraph, Ryan Howard is going to blow by whatever numbers Albert Pujols puts up, right? Think again. Here's the kicker. Ryan Howard was born on November 19, 1979, making him 26 years old today, and turning 27 in November. Pujols was born on January 16, 1980. Making him 26 years old today, and 27 in January. Howard is older than people think he is because he played all four years of college ball and then spent the usual two to three years in the minors. Howard looks like a 500 home run guy, but as far as touching the records go, he is going to have to start cranking out 75 and 80 homers a year. But with the way he swings, who's to say that he can't?