...And Then Darth Vader Walked In

So I've had this hilarious situation rolling around in my head for a little while now, and I think it is too funny and brilliant to pass up writing about. I don't think I can get in trouble for this fictional scenario, because the likes of Spike Lee can't get in trouble for making Inside Man.

Where you hear of robberies, what is it that is being robbed? Usually banks, some sort of store, or a person's house. But bank robberies seem to get the most recognition. Everyone always says, "I'm going to rob a bank." Movies are made of bank robberies, Inside Man being one of them. But that makes no sense. You have any idea how much work and planning needs to go into a bank robbery? Cameras, security guards, security systems, how to escape, etc. It makes little sense to me.

But there is something to rob that makes a lot of sense to me. That something is Book Buy Back. Every college in the country has one of these. The universities are buying text books back from students after a semester is over. Think about it. No cameras, no security, five old ladies and old men at the cash registers, and tons of cash. They are handing out cash. There is no way anybody gives you any static. They would just hand over the money. You think a college student is going to stop you? No way, they will probably be pissed off they didn't come up with the idea. I doubt you would even need a real gun to do this. A squirt gun that looks real would probably be sufficient.

The Book Buy Back at my school is held in the student union, you could easily stroll into any student union with a ski mask on, or even some sort of costume, perhaps Darth Vader to be funny. Just think of all the funny costumes used in the comedic bank robbery movie Fun With Dick and Jane. The possibilities are endless. You walk in, walk up to the registers and demand all the cash they have.

Now the only question is: "How much cash are we talking about here?" I did some rough projections off of my personal Book Buy Back. I received 120 dollars for my books this semester. My college has roughly 30,000 students, assume they all got 120 dollars back, that would be 3.6 million dollars handed out. The figures are probably a little higher since I only had three books to sell back. I'll say it again, they are giving cash away! And colleges rip us off for books anyway. They are making double profit off the parents of college kids. They mark the price of books up, buy them back cheap and then mark them up again. I'll bet that any university could afford to lose a couple of million to a college kid dressed up like Darth Vader.