Just Another Grade School Ripoff

So yesterday was my birthday and I start reflecting on some birthdays that have passed. I remember playing football with some friends in my backyard for a few (probably like all of them from ages 6-10). I remember going to see the Mighty Ducks for one (perhaps before coming back and playing a football game). I remember having a big ol' surprise sweet 16 party at my house when my leg was broken sophomore year. And then I start thinking about grade school. And as with most things grade school related, my adult mind sees a large problem.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but when it was your birthday in grade school you had to provide some sort of treats. I remember always bringing in brownies or cookies or maybe even a cake on the day of my birthday. Usually it was something that I had to work on with my mom the night before. Now I realize that this makes absolutely no sense. It's my damn birthday, why do I have to bring in treats for everybody else? Shouldn't everybody in the class have to buy/make/steal me a cookie, brownie or piece of cake? And then I sit there with 24 cookies and eat as many as my little stomach can handle? Shouldn't that be the way it works? Instead I have to bring in brownies for everybody else. What a joke. I should get to eat them all, it's MY birthday, after all.

Adding to that, what about those goodie bags that were given out at grade school birthday parties. Those are ridiculous too. Again, it is my birthday, why do you get a present? If you want a present from me, invite me to your birthday and I'll buy you some crappy t-shirt or something. That is the way it should work. If I go to a party now, I don't get a goodie bag on the way out. When is the cutoff for this? I think it is when you move on to the 7th grade, and I don't know why. I remember going with my mom to pick out contents of the goodie bags a few times. That was torture. It was my nearing my birthday and I had to pick out things to give away? Crazy talk.